ALWAYS Coca Cola
by oh-my-Ra
Summary: Sasuke has a fangirl problem and enlists Kakashi and Naruto to help him get to the bottom of it. To bad Kakashi decides to try and take the stick out of Sasuke's ass by giving him our favourite sugary caffine-filled treat: Coca Cola


I was in the mood for an Oneshot. I had nothing better to do and I'm hyper. Don't blame me, blame sugar. I have never done a Naruto Oneshot, and when I'm hyper, things tend to go epic ;

I may ask FastForward if I can borrow pervy Genma for a Oneshot! He is so fun XD I may write a Oneshot about Kiba, depending on how hyper I am… /gulps down twenty gallons of coke, and still bugs her sister to go downstairs and get her more/ This is a side-shot-thingy for 'The chronicles of Sasuke Uchiha'

**Disclaimer:** I'd ask Kishimoto for Naruto, but he gave the muffin man Sasuke and Kiba, so I'm going to go eat a mutated muffin and get Sasuke and Kiba… 

**Warning:** expect no quality, I'm sugar high, it's six In the morning and I haven't read a fanfiction in ten minutes… and that's what she said! Lol, that didn't make any sense 

ALWAYS Coca Cola 

Sasuke Uchiha flopped down on a plain black couch and sighed. He had just been on a mission and had no desire to wade through fan mail and then leave and get even more. This happened every time he left for a mission, except every time there was even more then there was last time. However, what he did, want to know, was how the fangirls got into his house undetected. He'd set up traps everywhere, and installed hidden cameras, but had no luck in finding out who kept coming.

But Sasuke had a plan.

You see, if technology refuses to help us catch the culprit, then we must do it ourselves.

(Flashback)

"Kakashi! I swear to god, fangirls are sneaking into my house. I found a picture of me sleeping at Sakura's house, and one of me showering at Ino's!"

"Prove it."

"Fine. How about we stake out my house after a mission, until we find out who?"

"Sure. I'll invite Naruto and make it a boy's night in."

"If you do that I'll stick a chidori through your heart."

"Your extra violent today, aren't you. I'll bring over something to help with that."

"Do it and die."

(End flashback)

And that would bring us to now. Sasuke was a very patient person by nature. One couldn't survive being on the same team as Kakashi otherwise, but three hours was a bit much, even for a very patient person like Sasuke.

Pop.

Sasuke POV

If that isn't Kakashi, Orochimaru isn't a child molester. And even if it isn't, Orochimaru is still a child molester.

"Hey Sasuke! We're going to find out who's breaking into you house. Dattebayo!"

"Hey Sasuke! Why can I hear birds chirping? Hey, Sasuke"

"Naruto, duck."

Kakashi ruins all my fun. Seriously, I was about to become the happiest man alive, but no.

"I told you not to use that on Naruto."

I told you to be on time, but you don't hear me complaining. That's what Sakura's for.

"Now, where do we set up base?"

"Near the house, probably. How else would they get in?"

"Teleportation."

"They're fangirls. Next you'll be telling me they have brains"

"Fair point."

"Naruto, go set up camp."

"Why me? Dattebayo?"

"I don't like you, that's why."

"Fine. Dattebayo."

That got rid of Naruto.

"Oh, here Sasuke. This'll get the stick right out of your ass."

"What is this."

"Coca Cola. Why?"

It was rhetorical. That's why.

"No reason."

"I'm back. Dattebayo!"

"Go back and help your doppelgangers"

"Aw man. Dattebayo."

Now he's gone at la-

"Mamahi! Fop dit" (translation Kakashi! Stop it)

The son of a bitch is literally shoving a can of Coke down my mouth. That teme!

"All done!"

Kakashi is so de- Hey, I feel like I have more energy. And I never noticed how fun T.V is before. Y'know I think that I could get used to this. And now that you mention it, I could be nicer to Naruto. Who am I kidding, lets go beat up Naruto!

"Hey Naruto!"

Naruto must be shocked there wasn't an insult in there somewhere.

"Yeah? Dattebayo?"

This will be fun.

_The authoress chose not to go into detail about this next part, to protect your innocent little minds; but be warned, it is a miracle that Naruto survived._

"Owww. That hurt. Dattebayo."

Only Naruto could get out of that without being half dead. Typical. Just typical. May as well go bother Kakashi then.

"Oi Kakashi! I hear Jiraiya wants to talk to you. Yeah, I'll take you to where he is. Yeah, it's this dark alley here. The suspicious looking one."

"Hey, Sasuke. Are you sure it's here? And what's with that glint in your eye?"

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh"

I woke up the next day with a throbbing head and I was covered in bruises. It was if a silver haired masked jonin decided to beat me up because I was attempting to murder and/or brutally maim him. Weird. Did someone chuck a newspaper at my head… What the hell is this article?

'Uchiha and fangirls co-exist'

'Sasuke Uchiha, Last of clan Uchiha, renown for their good looks and brilliant ability, has signed an agreement just last night with his fangirls. Some of the details of this contract include;

No members of the fanclub may enter his house without direct permission.

Sasuke must listen to his fangirls requests fairly.

They cannot claim ownership of him at any given time.

They cannot type any fanfictions about him, or any of his other acquaintances.

He must come to birthday parties.

Has Uchiha got to much time on his hands? We think Yes.

I think I'm going to throw up.

Bleccch.

That's the end of that problem. Now why am I in a suspicious looking (I can't see anything, it's really dark. The only thing I could probably see is a murderous glint in someone's eyes) alleyway. I wonder how I got here.

Is that Jiraiya Sannin staring at me? WTF?

I never did find out how the fangirls got in.

Poor Sasuke. I wonder why he was at Ino and Sakura's house, but then, I'm the authoress so I should know… Oh well I am so bored. Pfft, my beta keeps suggesting that I type up on a story. What am I, a writer?

**Review and Sasuke will get hyper ;) **


End file.
